As I mentioned in a recent post (It may have been the last one. I don’t remember………you know…….holes in my brain.), nostalgia has been in effect in my world to a large degree. It may not be healthy, or optimistic, but I’ve enjoyed it. There are several reasons why. I don’t dig most of the music coming out these days, so the old stuff (Acts from my era, like Def Leppard, The Police, Billy Squire, and Van Halen are considered old now…….sad face.) is what does it for me. They have apparently given this era of music a new moniker. ‘New Classic Rock’ is what they are calling it. I haven’t decided if I like it. On one hand, I like the oxymorony (I know it’s not a word. Sue me.) aspect of it. ‘New’ does not equal ‘Classic’. I like oxymorons. Definite possibility. Military Intelligence. Jumbo Shrimp. America United. You know. They are funny! I like ’em. Plus, it differentiates the music that came out when I was a teen from the era that has been considered Classic Rock up to this day. Zepplin, Stones, The Who, they deserve the separation from the newer Rock that came out when I was a kid.
New Classic Rock
I think we know which era wore it better!
On the other hand, it’s kind of dumb. ‘New’ does not equal ‘Classic’. After a certain amount of years, everything becomes classic. Shouldn’t they just get inducted into the ‘Classic Rock’ club after, say…..twenty five years or so? I mean, what will they call the next generation of rock? Millenial Classic Rock? Hair Bun and Beard Classic Rock? I don’t know. Therefore, I’ll move on.
So I immediately got off track, there. Where was I? Oh yeah. Nostalgia.
The other reason for the heavy nostalgia mode, I must admit, is the idea that my best days are behind me. I just can’t shake the feeling that the biggest, most exciting parts of my life have already occurred. Granted, due to the experiences I did have in my twenties and thirties were pretty high highs to compete with. I think I’m at a bit more of a disadvantage than many with how lofty my exciting experience watermark is. It would be difficult to beat. From playing huge stages in front of huge crowds, to meeting Jen, to opening a restaurant. All amazing experiences that would be hard to beat in the future. Honestly, the only thing I can think of off the top of my head, with any chance of beating what I’ve already experienced, would be to win the lottery or something like that. Doubtful that will occur, since I only play the lottery when the prize is a huge amount. I mean, is it really worth it for just a couple million dollars? Yeah. I know it is. Still, I only end up playing once or twice a year. That does not make for great odds of winning. Oh well.
Of course, the giant, glaring, elephant in the room is the fact that MS will likely cause my quality of life to slowly (hopefully), but surely degrade over time. That is, unless they find a cure. I’m not holding my breath. It’s more likely that I, at my age, won’t be around when the cure is found. Hell, right now, they still don’t even know what causes it. I may never see that happen, let alone a cure.
So, yeah. I look to the past. I recall what it was like when I had aspirations and optimism for the future. When any possibility was possible in the future. I hold on to the memory of those days that I took for granted. I try to remind myself how unlikely it was for me to live the experiences that I have. That is proof that the future still holds uncertainty. It isn’t set in stone. Something awesome can still occur no matter how bleak things can look.
I try to remind myself of that. I’m not always successful. Yet, I still try. That’s pretty much all I can do. Try. So I fight through the daily pain. I smile when I feel like crap. I lie when people ask, ‘How are you?’ I push through the fatigue. I do these things with the slightest hope that something, anything could turn everything on it’s ear, and become the greatest experience of them all!
Don’t laugh. It could happen. (<—-That was me talking to myself, BTW.)
Well, that’s it for me, this time. I’m tired and my brain isn’t at full power, today. This post will probably show that fact. Sorry.
Until next time!
P.S. I grew up with a mother and two big sisters. In the 80s, I knew the plights of Bo and Hope. Steve (Patch) and Kayla. Etc. Yup. I watched ‘Days’!