Hi there, folks. My name is Doc. Well, that actually isn’t my name, but that is what I’ve been known as since I was 18 or 19 years old. I’m 46 at the time of this first post.
For most of my adult life, I played music professionally. I was known as a high energy (annoyingly, energetic (read: hyper) in some people’s opinion), optimistic personality. I am not that same person today. Yes, I understand this happens to most people over time, but for me, it happened in quite a short amount of time. The culprit for this? I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis one year ago this month, also known simply as MS. These days, it sometimes takes every bit of energy and will to do simple, everyday activities. I’m not nearly as outgoing as I was just a couple of years ago. I prefer to be at home more than out in public more days than not. My body hurts. My brain hurts. My heart hurts, knowing the people I care about have great concern regarding my state of health, yet are either afraid to talk about it or don’t like talking about it because it makes them uncomfortable, and don’t know what to say in response to the details of the everyday struggle one with MS has to deal with. Many of us ‘look fine’. We don’t look sick. We don’t appear to have an incurable, debilitating disease. Therefore, it’s easy to, and for some, preferably convenient, to ignore or dismiss. People with depression deal with this as well. BTW, lucky for the MS community (more sarcasm. Get used to it. I use it often.), depression is a common side effect of MS. Unfortunately, that is part of our struggle, on top of the symptoms. So much of a struggle, that drastically changed relationships may as well be added to the list of symptoms, as far as my opinion is concerned.
This is the subject for which I have decided to create a new blog. I understand it will make many uncomfortable (see above), because I plan on being as honest and candid as I can. So…………..ah crap, what’s the word I’m looking for? By the way, that ‘what’s the word’ moment is all too common, thanks to MS. Oh hey, I just remembered where I was going on that thought train! So much so, that I will probably become uncomfortable writing it down and posting it for all to see. I imagine I will have several moments when hitting that ‘Post’ button will take several attempts…….including this very post. But, I believe it might do me some good. More importantly, it might let someone else know he/she isn’t the only one dealing with these struggles, and that they don’t have to go it alone. It may also help those who have friends or family who have been diagnosed with the disease, and have no idea how to treat their loved one, or what their role in their loved one’s life should be, concerning the disease.
I plan on revealing the pain, frustration, misconceptions, news, and most of all, humor of the situation. I hope everyone who happens upon this benefits in some way.
So, my………crap, there it is again……..ah, got it! My request to you, my friends and readers: If you know anyone who might benefit from listening to my jibber jabber, please send them in my internet direction! I will, most likely, be able to learn and get support from them as well. This journey is a series of two way roads and all lanes are open.